Big day

I am sick. I started having allergies a couple of days ago, and now I feel really sick. My head feels like it's a pressure cooker, and my nose is a river.

My left hamstring started hurting like hell out of the blue again yesterday, and I walk like a hobbit today as result.

My Mom called me yesterday to tell me that she is back in the hospital due to unexpected complications of her operation.

And today, I will leave a Mala of 108 surya namaskars. Not the best day, in a way, but I am happy as it will be another milestone, through which I can set a new path forward.

Shanti Om and health to all.

IY

When fate hits you right in the head...

We think all is well and fine. Life is good. You had the most amazing practice this morning, totally entering the Flow again at last. You have a job you like quite a fair bit, to say the least. You have time on your hands, reasonably. You just had a good holiday with your parents. The Sun is shining. The world is entering a new Lunar Year and everything is fine and excellent.

And then the phone rings.

Sister: Mom is in the hospital.
Imperfect Yogi: WHAT? Why? What happened? What's going on?
Sister: The phone is ringing I call you back.

Then you wait. Everything you could not possibly imagine goes through your head. Then you wait a while more, and more goes through your mind. Then the phone rings.

Sister: ok, you don't worry?

Then, you worry even more. Then you ask:

Imperfect Yogi: so what the fuck is going on? What happened? Is she ok? What's happening? Tell me!

So much for being sattvic, balanced, calm and in the Flow.

Sister: ok, she fell, it's pretty bad. She broke her arm and wrist and is at the hospital. They are running tests on her head and other bones. She is going through an operation in just a few minutes.
Imperfect Yogi: an operation for a broken arm? WHAT THE FUCK? What is going on? Is she ok?
Sister: she is under morphine, she is very worried and lost. They need to stabilize her bones cause they just crashed when she fell. That's all I know. I will call you later. I am going there now?
Imperfect Yogi: ...............................
Imperfect Yogi (to himself): fuck fuck fuck, no way... Mom... She was ok, here, happy and radiant 2 days ago...
Imperfect Yogi: ok, thanks...

And there goes your sense of everything being just as it should be.

It's been a day, and I could talk to no one because of freaking distance, time difference and so many other things. I hope she is ok. She probably is.

This reminds me of this line I read in the most amazing book ('A fortune teller told me') a student gave me for Christmas, which I read with my Mom in Phnom Phen last week: 'Life is not yours, and it can be taken away from you at any moment. Reflect on this.'

IY

Affirmations for a new year

To combat old samskara and build confidence where it has proven to be lacking in the past, Sva Dharma activation sacred texts suggest one builds a set of affirmations to rise the Shakti and let it flow where it should.

My key affirmations for this year are as follows:
- I am a radiant being and I do not need everyone's respect
- I am in the Flow and do not need to know where I am going
- I complete the mandala of my actions

Repeat your affirmations, which you build through a long process of meditation but primarily Svadyaya, 5 times each during your morning meditation as a vow to manifest their essence throughout the day, and LIVE THE LIFE.

Shanti

My dear dear Urdhva Dhanurasana

As a result of a very nasty car crash I suffered when I was 17 on Xmas Eve, and in which I very, very nearly died, my right shoulder and upper back have been frozen for years. Besides the horrible sequence of events on that night, I owe the stiffness in my right body to the fact that the young docs in this provincial French hospital were busier partying in the staff room next door than reducing my fracture and realigning the bones. That was most certainly a result of my karma, and it allowed me to come to yoga with enough challenges to understand intimately what most injured or unfit students go through in an average class.

Anyway, years of practice and trust in my teachers, Shiva and Patrick, have allowed me to enter Urdhva Dhanusarana, and to actually enjoy it. It was a long journey to work through a blocked rotator cuff, but it was most certainly worth it.

(The video is courtesy of a most lovely young lady from Brunei, who attends workshops at Pure from time to time and has a truly delicious blog called Dhanurasana)

Hilarious, the inquisition is back out of the cave. Hide your sticky mats away before they send you to Hell!

A question that does come up from time to time. Can you practice yoga if you are a believer of one of the main three monotheist religions. I would say yes, but Pat Robertson would not agree. Though he seems to like his stretch :)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/11/29/pat-robertson-not-down-wi_n_74527.html

I wish I could hold you to a big smile

Today, I spoke to a dear friend of mine. The True kind, honest and frank, loud and clear, soft and tender, who lives too far away from me, unfortunately. She told me she had just lost a little baby that had been in her for only 12 short weeks. Miscarriage, they call it. I just don't know what to say, it seems no word, no sentence can create healing after that. Except I love you. So my dear, I love you, I will be with you through this, I will dedicate my sacred practice to you and will hug you energetically throughout the day. Until we meet again, for a very real hug. But for now, I love you.

I love you.

IY

Actions, reactions, finger pointing and breathing through

It seems my last post triggered reactions: I explained in it my experience of a recent workshop and my personal reasons for not connecting with Anusara. This offended a reader, who also happens to be a student. That's good, I write to trigger emotions, and these are not always pretty ones. In addition, I believe that for 25 silent agreeable readers, there always is one that loudly shouts out and asks for your head to roll. Such is public life. Go ask Marie-Antoinette :)

I explained in my last post, which I have taken off line to prevent anyone from broadcasting 'wisely selected' pieces of it, my reasons, my uniquely personal reasons for not enjoying Anusara, as a student. I have practiced Anusara for several years now, used to be an avid and daily practitioner for a very long time, and have had the chance to learn from a number of Anusara teachers, many amazing ones, which entitles me to an opinion as a student, good or bad.

My intention, as a unique individual, with my own experience, feelings and perspective, was to explain why I thought this method was not the right thing for some, why it did not work on my body type, and why I did not subscribe to its philosophical iterations. No more, no less, a perfect blog entry, most people would reckon. Well, most people only.

I will not give you the link to the bitter response my blog got, because it is not my approach to criticize and finger-point people's views and feelings. This person, like me, is entitled to her reaction and thoughts, and I will thus not broadcast her entry on my blog to stigmatize her. Instead, I would congratulate her on loving her practice dearly enough to feel annoyed by my entry. Annoyed is good, angry is great, as it all is an expression of our innate creative energy, like love or passion.

As a student of yoga, I will tell her that I would truly like her to respect my experience. Although I am a teacher a few hours a week, I am first and foremost a student, like her. I would invite her to keep an open mind and not make inaccurate assumptions about my past or Life. She should acknowledge my right to report how I lived the experience, my right to shape my own views, extreme as they are, and the fact that though she loves something, some people won't.

Lastly, I would like to thank her for her feed-back and honesty, and invite her to introduce her Self to me after my next class, so I can put a face and a smile on the words.

Shanti

IY


'Anger, fear, hate, and jealousy are great gifts. Finally we leave spiritual mirage behind. We are no longer this sanitized being, smelling sweetly of lotus flower perfume. We smell like hate. We stink of it. This is reality. This is unity, at last!' (Daniel Odier, Yoga Spandakarika)