Big day

I am sick. I started having allergies a couple of days ago, and now I feel really sick. My head feels like it's a pressure cooker, and my nose is a river.

My left hamstring started hurting like hell out of the blue again yesterday, and I walk like a hobbit today as result.

My Mom called me yesterday to tell me that she is back in the hospital due to unexpected complications of her operation.

And today, I will leave a Mala of 108 surya namaskars. Not the best day, in a way, but I am happy as it will be another milestone, through which I can set a new path forward.

Shanti Om and health to all.

IY

When fate hits you right in the head...

We think all is well and fine. Life is good. You had the most amazing practice this morning, totally entering the Flow again at last. You have a job you like quite a fair bit, to say the least. You have time on your hands, reasonably. You just had a good holiday with your parents. The Sun is shining. The world is entering a new Lunar Year and everything is fine and excellent.

And then the phone rings.

Sister: Mom is in the hospital.
Imperfect Yogi: WHAT? Why? What happened? What's going on?
Sister: The phone is ringing I call you back.

Then you wait. Everything you could not possibly imagine goes through your head. Then you wait a while more, and more goes through your mind. Then the phone rings.

Sister: ok, you don't worry?

Then, you worry even more. Then you ask:

Imperfect Yogi: so what the fuck is going on? What happened? Is she ok? What's happening? Tell me!

So much for being sattvic, balanced, calm and in the Flow.

Sister: ok, she fell, it's pretty bad. She broke her arm and wrist and is at the hospital. They are running tests on her head and other bones. She is going through an operation in just a few minutes.
Imperfect Yogi: an operation for a broken arm? WHAT THE FUCK? What is going on? Is she ok?
Sister: she is under morphine, she is very worried and lost. They need to stabilize her bones cause they just crashed when she fell. That's all I know. I will call you later. I am going there now?
Imperfect Yogi: ...............................
Imperfect Yogi (to himself): fuck fuck fuck, no way... Mom... She was ok, here, happy and radiant 2 days ago...
Imperfect Yogi: ok, thanks...

And there goes your sense of everything being just as it should be.

It's been a day, and I could talk to no one because of freaking distance, time difference and so many other things. I hope she is ok. She probably is.

This reminds me of this line I read in the most amazing book ('A fortune teller told me') a student gave me for Christmas, which I read with my Mom in Phnom Phen last week: 'Life is not yours, and it can be taken away from you at any moment. Reflect on this.'

IY

Affirmations for a new year

To combat old samskara and build confidence where it has proven to be lacking in the past, Sva Dharma activation sacred texts suggest one builds a set of affirmations to rise the Shakti and let it flow where it should.

My key affirmations for this year are as follows:
- I am a radiant being and I do not need everyone's respect
- I am in the Flow and do not need to know where I am going
- I complete the mandala of my actions

Repeat your affirmations, which you build through a long process of meditation but primarily Svadyaya, 5 times each during your morning meditation as a vow to manifest their essence throughout the day, and LIVE THE LIFE.

Shanti