As a result of a very nasty car crash I suffered when I was 17 on Xmas Eve, and in which I very, very nearly died, my right shoulder and upper back have been frozen for years. Besides the horrible sequence of events on that night, I owe the stiffness in my right body to the fact that the young docs in this provincial French hospital were busier partying in the staff room next door than reducing my fracture and realigning the bones. That was most certainly a result of my karma, and it allowed me to come to yoga with enough challenges to understand intimately what most injured or unfit students go through in an average class.
Anyway, years of practice and trust in my teachers, Shiva and Patrick, have allowed me to enter Urdhva Dhanusarana, and to actually enjoy it. It was a long journey to work through a blocked rotator cuff, but it was most certainly worth it.
(The video is courtesy of a most lovely young lady from Brunei, who attends workshops at Pure from time to time and has a truly delicious blog called Dhanurasana)
Friday, December 14, 2007
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Hilarious, the inquisition is back out of the cave. Hide your sticky mats away before they send you to Hell!
A question that does come up from time to time. Can you practice yoga if you are a believer of one of the main three monotheist religions. I would say yes, but Pat Robertson would not agree. Though he seems to like his stretch :)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/11/29/pat-robertson-not-down-wi_n_74527.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/11/29/pat-robertson-not-down-wi_n_74527.html
Friday, December 7, 2007
I wish I could hold you to a big smile
Today, I spoke to a dear friend of mine. The True kind, honest and frank, loud and clear, soft and tender, who lives too far away from me, unfortunately. She told me she had just lost a little baby that had been in her for only 12 short weeks. Miscarriage, they call it. I just don't know what to say, it seems no word, no sentence can create healing after that. Except I love you. So my dear, I love you, I will be with you through this, I will dedicate my sacred practice to you and will hug you energetically throughout the day. Until we meet again, for a very real hug. But for now, I love you.
I love you.
IY
I love you.
IY
Actions, reactions, finger pointing and breathing through
It seems my last post triggered reactions: I explained in it my experience of a recent workshop and my personal reasons for not connecting with Anusara. This offended a reader, who also happens to be a student. That's good, I write to trigger emotions, and these are not always pretty ones. In addition, I believe that for 25 silent agreeable readers, there always is one that loudly shouts out and asks for your head to roll. Such is public life. Go ask Marie-Antoinette :)
I explained in my last post, which I have taken off line to prevent anyone from broadcasting 'wisely selected' pieces of it, my reasons, my uniquely personal reasons for not enjoying Anusara, as a student. I have practiced Anusara for several years now, used to be an avid and daily practitioner for a very long time, and have had the chance to learn from a number of Anusara teachers, many amazing ones, which entitles me to an opinion as a student, good or bad.
My intention, as a unique individual, with my own experience, feelings and perspective, was to explain why I thought this method was not the right thing for some, why it did not work on my body type, and why I did not subscribe to its philosophical iterations. No more, no less, a perfect blog entry, most people would reckon. Well, most people only.
I will not give you the link to the bitter response my blog got, because it is not my approach to criticize and finger-point people's views and feelings. This person, like me, is entitled to her reaction and thoughts, and I will thus not broadcast her entry on my blog to stigmatize her. Instead, I would congratulate her on loving her practice dearly enough to feel annoyed by my entry. Annoyed is good, angry is great, as it all is an expression of our innate creative energy, like love or passion.
As a student of yoga, I will tell her that I would truly like her to respect my experience. Although I am a teacher a few hours a week, I am first and foremost a student, like her. I would invite her to keep an open mind and not make inaccurate assumptions about my past or Life. She should acknowledge my right to report how I lived the experience, my right to shape my own views, extreme as they are, and the fact that though she loves something, some people won't.
Lastly, I would like to thank her for her feed-back and honesty, and invite her to introduce her Self to me after my next class, so I can put a face and a smile on the words.
Shanti
IY
'Anger, fear, hate, and jealousy are great gifts. Finally we leave spiritual mirage behind. We are no longer this sanitized being, smelling sweetly of lotus flower perfume. We smell like hate. We stink of it. This is reality. This is unity, at last!' (Daniel Odier, Yoga Spandakarika)
I explained in my last post, which I have taken off line to prevent anyone from broadcasting 'wisely selected' pieces of it, my reasons, my uniquely personal reasons for not enjoying Anusara, as a student. I have practiced Anusara for several years now, used to be an avid and daily practitioner for a very long time, and have had the chance to learn from a number of Anusara teachers, many amazing ones, which entitles me to an opinion as a student, good or bad.
My intention, as a unique individual, with my own experience, feelings and perspective, was to explain why I thought this method was not the right thing for some, why it did not work on my body type, and why I did not subscribe to its philosophical iterations. No more, no less, a perfect blog entry, most people would reckon. Well, most people only.
I will not give you the link to the bitter response my blog got, because it is not my approach to criticize and finger-point people's views and feelings. This person, like me, is entitled to her reaction and thoughts, and I will thus not broadcast her entry on my blog to stigmatize her. Instead, I would congratulate her on loving her practice dearly enough to feel annoyed by my entry. Annoyed is good, angry is great, as it all is an expression of our innate creative energy, like love or passion.
As a student of yoga, I will tell her that I would truly like her to respect my experience. Although I am a teacher a few hours a week, I am first and foremost a student, like her. I would invite her to keep an open mind and not make inaccurate assumptions about my past or Life. She should acknowledge my right to report how I lived the experience, my right to shape my own views, extreme as they are, and the fact that though she loves something, some people won't.
Lastly, I would like to thank her for her feed-back and honesty, and invite her to introduce her Self to me after my next class, so I can put a face and a smile on the words.
Shanti
IY
'Anger, fear, hate, and jealousy are great gifts. Finally we leave spiritual mirage behind. We are no longer this sanitized being, smelling sweetly of lotus flower perfume. We smell like hate. We stink of it. This is reality. This is unity, at last!' (Daniel Odier, Yoga Spandakarika)
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Kalari grading, children, observance, core and dreams
I have rarely felt so weak, spent, and emptied out to my bones than today. After a pretty intense yoga practice at home yesterday afternoon (the sort where - for no reason - you go into every possible arm balance that your mind remembers ever hearing of), I rushed to Kalari, for training and ... GRADING!
In the train, the effect of my practice were clear already, I was dozing off, and had too little energy to move around when people entered the train. In addition, my core had left me for a better world, and my belly was no longer holding in. At all. This is the great and energetic state in which I arrived at Kalari practice. Late (you walk more slowly when your legs are as strong at a soaked hor fun noodle). Anyhow, I reached the Dojo and was surprised to see about 30 or so other people ready for grading, warming up in great style in the room, and an even larger number of parents, partners and children around the room, to watch the event. And then, after 12 minutes (this is how much time my brain took to process this much information), it hit me: A CROWD!!!! No no no no no no no no no no no. I was never informed that there would be a crowd, people, humans, with eyes, ears and mouths, watching my attempt at Kalari. No. Oh no. I almost felt stressed, but then again, that would have required that I have some energy left, which was not the case. The first bad surprise of the day was out, and it was not too bad. I could manage a crowd, either by not caring or being incredibly good. I could do either.
Second bad surprise of the day. My tired eyes (still half way covered by heavy lids) had not noticed that we were all to be sorted by belt color. White for me. I am a newbie, and proud (for a few more seconds). And as we sort ourselves out (feels very hat sorting, harry potter like :p), i ended up not in Gryffindor, but in pre-pre-school. All other white belts were about 3 to 6 years of age. Of course, people usually start martial arts earlier than 30. Oh Lord Shiva, save me from self-combustion. To give you an idea, yellow belts were around 12 to 16 years of age, orange belts up to 26 and blacks belts above.
Obviously, Master Edward was kind enough not to get me to go through the whole grading practice with the other white belts. I am not sure if he did that to save my face, to acknowledge my more advanced skills, or simply because he was scared I would crush one of these little ones when doing my break falls. Anyway, it worked out ok, i did all my falls (1 to 12, which is a yellow/orange belt level). My moving steps worked wonderfully, my Suvudu were beautiful (though slow, but everyone told me it was better that way cause i showed the judges I knew each step in detail). My VT (attack/self-defense) were very lame though. I was bad, and the guy fighting me too uncertain of his movements too. So bad that Master asked me again to come up 'on stage' and redo them, with someone else. And I did better.
After that, we went on outside for the physical strength test. I passed with flying colors, but that was easy for me: core with a little wheel in your hands, lifting up and down, 20 knuckle push-ups (I looooooooove chaturanga dandasana). Others, including the older ones, were having a rough time, surprisingly though.
I think I did OK, but the most gratifying moment of the evening is when 2 of the yellow belts, about 14 years of age, told me, as we were sitting down waiting for the last grading, 'you did very well, you don't worry, your technique is very good'. I am always amazed when children display greater maturity and compassion than adults. And that they acknowledge my anxiety and have no problem extending a virtual hand to lift me up is amazing. If adults were less cocky and as in tune with the Energetic Heart as these kids and teenagers, the world would surely be a better place than it is. And that applies to the government of this VERY VERY VERY imperfect fucking island.
Something I have really come to learn, appreciate and enjoy in Kalari, is the power of observing. About a third of the practice involves, for all of us, to observe others display their steps. At first, my hyperactive pitta nature thought it was a waste of time and practice, and that we ought to be practicing. But over time, and thanks to Master Edwards, I have sat down, watched, meditated and absorbed. And oh my god! I had never realised how important in the learning process it is to observe, look at more senior people practice. Not that I am to learn their steps, but watching them move gracefully and lightly, I absorb the essence of the practice, its lightness, its spirit, my destination. And I have been amazed by how much I have taken in and progressed, without any expectation or realization of it. I had always been aware of the power of visual display, and that is why I am so drawn to Shiva Rea, who deeply believes in the role of the teacher in embodying yoga for the benefits of students. I believe in demonstrating in class. But I am even a greater believer of that now. It is such a powerful way to transmit energy and eternal intelligence without words. I worsship the ability of our body to convey, and the power of the senses to absorb.
But as a result of all this excitement yesterday, I am left, for the first time truly in my life, with no core. I can't even hold myself sitting up, my belly is floating out, and I can't laugh or talk too long... Let's worship that today, and take it easy then. I a off to Little India for a lovely meal (my delish South India Thali), and to soak in the lights of Deepavali.
And to close, I had the weirdest dreams last night: Imperfect Husband (VERY IMPERFECT in my dream) had been cheating on me for a long while, with a GIRL! And he showed no remorse, no concern, no emotion. That is, that's all. I was speechless. And single. And then, my mom was doing the same to my dad, with a man, and that was it too. Damn, I woke up in a nasty mood, and it took a few good minutes for the bad energy to wear off. I wonder what that means. I did ask Imperfect Husband if there was anything I should know though... Seems there isn't.
Long post today.
Shanti and love.
PS: I will know next Saturday if I made it to the next Kalari belt. If not, I suck big time, if so, I rock and rule :P
In the train, the effect of my practice were clear already, I was dozing off, and had too little energy to move around when people entered the train. In addition, my core had left me for a better world, and my belly was no longer holding in. At all. This is the great and energetic state in which I arrived at Kalari practice. Late (you walk more slowly when your legs are as strong at a soaked hor fun noodle). Anyhow, I reached the Dojo and was surprised to see about 30 or so other people ready for grading, warming up in great style in the room, and an even larger number of parents, partners and children around the room, to watch the event. And then, after 12 minutes (this is how much time my brain took to process this much information), it hit me: A CROWD!!!! No no no no no no no no no no no. I was never informed that there would be a crowd, people, humans, with eyes, ears and mouths, watching my attempt at Kalari. No. Oh no. I almost felt stressed, but then again, that would have required that I have some energy left, which was not the case. The first bad surprise of the day was out, and it was not too bad. I could manage a crowd, either by not caring or being incredibly good. I could do either.
Second bad surprise of the day. My tired eyes (still half way covered by heavy lids) had not noticed that we were all to be sorted by belt color. White for me. I am a newbie, and proud (for a few more seconds). And as we sort ourselves out (feels very hat sorting, harry potter like :p), i ended up not in Gryffindor, but in pre-pre-school. All other white belts were about 3 to 6 years of age. Of course, people usually start martial arts earlier than 30. Oh Lord Shiva, save me from self-combustion. To give you an idea, yellow belts were around 12 to 16 years of age, orange belts up to 26 and blacks belts above.
Obviously, Master Edward was kind enough not to get me to go through the whole grading practice with the other white belts. I am not sure if he did that to save my face, to acknowledge my more advanced skills, or simply because he was scared I would crush one of these little ones when doing my break falls. Anyway, it worked out ok, i did all my falls (1 to 12, which is a yellow/orange belt level). My moving steps worked wonderfully, my Suvudu were beautiful (though slow, but everyone told me it was better that way cause i showed the judges I knew each step in detail). My VT (attack/self-defense) were very lame though. I was bad, and the guy fighting me too uncertain of his movements too. So bad that Master asked me again to come up 'on stage' and redo them, with someone else. And I did better.
After that, we went on outside for the physical strength test. I passed with flying colors, but that was easy for me: core with a little wheel in your hands, lifting up and down, 20 knuckle push-ups (I looooooooove chaturanga dandasana). Others, including the older ones, were having a rough time, surprisingly though.
I think I did OK, but the most gratifying moment of the evening is when 2 of the yellow belts, about 14 years of age, told me, as we were sitting down waiting for the last grading, 'you did very well, you don't worry, your technique is very good'. I am always amazed when children display greater maturity and compassion than adults. And that they acknowledge my anxiety and have no problem extending a virtual hand to lift me up is amazing. If adults were less cocky and as in tune with the Energetic Heart as these kids and teenagers, the world would surely be a better place than it is. And that applies to the government of this VERY VERY VERY imperfect fucking island.
Something I have really come to learn, appreciate and enjoy in Kalari, is the power of observing. About a third of the practice involves, for all of us, to observe others display their steps. At first, my hyperactive pitta nature thought it was a waste of time and practice, and that we ought to be practicing. But over time, and thanks to Master Edwards, I have sat down, watched, meditated and absorbed. And oh my god! I had never realised how important in the learning process it is to observe, look at more senior people practice. Not that I am to learn their steps, but watching them move gracefully and lightly, I absorb the essence of the practice, its lightness, its spirit, my destination. And I have been amazed by how much I have taken in and progressed, without any expectation or realization of it. I had always been aware of the power of visual display, and that is why I am so drawn to Shiva Rea, who deeply believes in the role of the teacher in embodying yoga for the benefits of students. I believe in demonstrating in class. But I am even a greater believer of that now. It is such a powerful way to transmit energy and eternal intelligence without words. I worsship the ability of our body to convey, and the power of the senses to absorb.
But as a result of all this excitement yesterday, I am left, for the first time truly in my life, with no core. I can't even hold myself sitting up, my belly is floating out, and I can't laugh or talk too long... Let's worship that today, and take it easy then. I a off to Little India for a lovely meal (my delish South India Thali), and to soak in the lights of Deepavali.
And to close, I had the weirdest dreams last night: Imperfect Husband (VERY IMPERFECT in my dream) had been cheating on me for a long while, with a GIRL! And he showed no remorse, no concern, no emotion. That is, that's all. I was speechless. And single. And then, my mom was doing the same to my dad, with a man, and that was it too. Damn, I woke up in a nasty mood, and it took a few good minutes for the bad energy to wear off. I wonder what that means. I did ask Imperfect Husband if there was anything I should know though... Seems there isn't.
Long post today.
Shanti and love.
PS: I will know next Saturday if I made it to the next Kalari belt. If not, I suck big time, if so, I rock and rule :P
Monday, October 29, 2007
Change is in the air
For those who wonder why everything seems to be going into bursting destruction and change this year, 2008 is the year of Shiva. If you wonder who Shiva is, read this. Shiva is part of the Hindu holy trinity, and is the third God (not in ranking of importance though): Brahma is the Creator, Vishnu the Preserver, and Shiva has the honor of being the Destroyer. Pretty scary deity for some, when he walks around with his necklace made of human skulls and his blue skin.
All in all, Shiva is the best deity around, I feel. It definitely took a tall blue-skinned violent God to kick me strong in the butt and get me to move ahead in my Life. I felt so sure about the need to leave my job and life as an investment banker, and yet... You know you are burying yourself in a life of seemingly plenty, but even the money does not help make it feel bearable anymore. And yet it seems impossible to have the balls to put an end to it all. Start anew and be who you are destined to be. And I made it. I guess a lot of things made that possible, first of all people: Imperfect Husband, Perfect Guru (who is interestingly called Shiva as well), and an intuition that I should trust the Universe.
And I can't believe how good it feels. Not only has the Universe brought me all I needed since then, job, money, house... but it really feels good to wake up in the morning and not feel like you have a stone in the stomach cause you have to go to work, which you hate, and you must leave home, which you love. It never really stroke me as that simple, but the key to being happy is really to do more of the things that we like, and less of those we don't. The big big sticking point is, though, that years, decades, centuries of catholic and protestant rambling on this world (and I believe I can safely extent that statement to other monotheist religions) have raised guilt, suffering and misery to the altar of worship, and most of our friends in this Life feel unsafe and guilty when they actually are at ease, in love, happy and content. Well, after roughly 20 odd years of denying my true nature and 10 more forcing myself down a path that I had been convinced was my own, I decided to throw my foot down onto the Earth, shatter the chains and live in the Truth. Was not easy, but fully worth the while. And once you are there, you wonder why you did not do it before. It was not meant to be, probably too early, but still. So many moments of misery, of despair, so many pounds accumulated through drinking and eating to fill a bottomless well...
And then I want to scream. I AM GAY. I AM NOT PERFECT. I AM IN LOVE. I HATED THIS LIFE OF PRETENSE. I AM A GREAT SOUL. I AM A DESERVING HUSBAND, SON, FRIEND, BROTHER. I AM THE DIVINE. I AM THE LIGHT. I AM WHO I AM. I AM.
I have so much anger, and so much compassion all at once. Two cohabiting contradicting sides of the same thing, in a very tight body (though I have much skin to house a few more people).
Life is such a gift. Don't deny the possibility of changing to upgrade your daily experience, even if that means destroying the present every night before you go to bed, to create a new present as you wake up in the morning. I love that amazing sentence by Paul Ortega, which he shared with us in LA last summer: 'Don’t wait until you are in horrible circumstances to display bigness, consciousness and spanda. Do that every day in your Life.'
Time to go and hugs my imperfect dogs, and show them the love.
Shanti OM.
IY
All in all, Shiva is the best deity around, I feel. It definitely took a tall blue-skinned violent God to kick me strong in the butt and get me to move ahead in my Life. I felt so sure about the need to leave my job and life as an investment banker, and yet... You know you are burying yourself in a life of seemingly plenty, but even the money does not help make it feel bearable anymore. And yet it seems impossible to have the balls to put an end to it all. Start anew and be who you are destined to be. And I made it. I guess a lot of things made that possible, first of all people: Imperfect Husband, Perfect Guru (who is interestingly called Shiva as well), and an intuition that I should trust the Universe.
And I can't believe how good it feels. Not only has the Universe brought me all I needed since then, job, money, house... but it really feels good to wake up in the morning and not feel like you have a stone in the stomach cause you have to go to work, which you hate, and you must leave home, which you love. It never really stroke me as that simple, but the key to being happy is really to do more of the things that we like, and less of those we don't. The big big sticking point is, though, that years, decades, centuries of catholic and protestant rambling on this world (and I believe I can safely extent that statement to other monotheist religions) have raised guilt, suffering and misery to the altar of worship, and most of our friends in this Life feel unsafe and guilty when they actually are at ease, in love, happy and content. Well, after roughly 20 odd years of denying my true nature and 10 more forcing myself down a path that I had been convinced was my own, I decided to throw my foot down onto the Earth, shatter the chains and live in the Truth. Was not easy, but fully worth the while. And once you are there, you wonder why you did not do it before. It was not meant to be, probably too early, but still. So many moments of misery, of despair, so many pounds accumulated through drinking and eating to fill a bottomless well...
And then I want to scream. I AM GAY. I AM NOT PERFECT. I AM IN LOVE. I HATED THIS LIFE OF PRETENSE. I AM A GREAT SOUL. I AM A DESERVING HUSBAND, SON, FRIEND, BROTHER. I AM THE DIVINE. I AM THE LIGHT. I AM WHO I AM. I AM.
I have so much anger, and so much compassion all at once. Two cohabiting contradicting sides of the same thing, in a very tight body (though I have much skin to house a few more people).
Life is such a gift. Don't deny the possibility of changing to upgrade your daily experience, even if that means destroying the present every night before you go to bed, to create a new present as you wake up in the morning. I love that amazing sentence by Paul Ortega, which he shared with us in LA last summer: 'Don’t wait until you are in horrible circumstances to display bigness, consciousness and spanda. Do that every day in your Life.'
Time to go and hugs my imperfect dogs, and show them the love.
Shanti OM.
IY
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Wattaweek
Wattaweek. Got my fortune told, a friend is leaving town, my sister is moving back to France, intensive practices all week, 2 Kalari sessions, a new computer, no more holidays, and plenty of good food.
Much to share, I will get down to it.
And Gopi called yeah :)
IY
Much to share, I will get down to it.
And Gopi called yeah :)
IY
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Cours de bonheur?
FINALLY! I was just checking the French news on TV5, and after announcing that the French president is getting a divorce (not passing judgment, but how can someone so self-involved have ever convinced someone to share a lifetime together?), they had this amazing short piece on a new initiative in Swiss high schools.
From this week onwards, most high school students across Switzerland with be having classes on happiness. Just like students attend math, French or history classes, they will now also receive education on the concept and details of happiness. I find that such a thrilling idea! They interviewed students who just left the class, and they all seemed so thrilled, surprised, awaken... The fact that no exam will take place in these classes probably helps, but I think this is the most important subject any young adult can be educated upon these days.
Long live Switzerland. I am truly thinking of moving over to that splendid place, more so every day.
Shanti Om.
IY
From this week onwards, most high school students across Switzerland with be having classes on happiness. Just like students attend math, French or history classes, they will now also receive education on the concept and details of happiness. I find that such a thrilling idea! They interviewed students who just left the class, and they all seemed so thrilled, surprised, awaken... The fact that no exam will take place in these classes probably helps, but I think this is the most important subject any young adult can be educated upon these days.
Long live Switzerland. I am truly thinking of moving over to that splendid place, more so every day.
Shanti Om.
IY
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Back on the rope
Ready to write again. I had a black out, too busy and dry, I guess. The juices are flowing, so get ready to read me again.
IY
IY
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Global Mala in Singapore
Come come come come come to Pure Raffles City on September 22nd at 9AM for a round of 108 sun salutations to celebrate Peace Day and the World!
I will be leading the Practice, don't be late.
I will be leading the Practice, don't be late.
Where is the Rasa?????????
I am juiceless today. No Rasa. No Bhava. No mood. No practice.
Meditation. 108 neeralamba mantras. Breathing. Cleaning the toilet floor. Flossing. Tongue scraping. Salad. One muffin (bloody hell, it was from Imperfect Mama in law - sinful but gewd :D).
Missing winter in Hong Kong, the snow in Japan. Tired again. Of Maya. But no Rasa to work on opening up.
Damn!
IY
Meditation. 108 neeralamba mantras. Breathing. Cleaning the toilet floor. Flossing. Tongue scraping. Salad. One muffin (bloody hell, it was from Imperfect Mama in law - sinful but gewd :D).
Missing winter in Hong Kong, the snow in Japan. Tired again. Of Maya. But no Rasa to work on opening up.
Damn!
IY
Thought of the day
What makes the practitioner suffer is that there is always a beginning of a process followed by a moment where this process reaches an end, only to be replaced by another process. According to the tantrikas, the duality that we perceive is merely a state of contraction. At the moment when the Shakti, or energy, is no longer contracted, we are able to relax, and at the same time we experience non duality because our body/thought is no longer limited.
Daniel Odier
Yoga Spandakarika
Daniel Odier
Yoga Spandakarika
Saturday, August 18, 2007
One day...
Om Namah Shivaya
In the highest o hare om
O hare om
One day I was walking down the road and I caught myself in a big bright light, so bright
One I was walking down the road and I caught myself with a big phat smile, smiling
How do some days end up so much better than you expected them to be? I went to bed late last night after a long long dinner with ex colleagues in an overly refrigerated room, and a few beers. I was teaching at 1030 this morning, and felt i woke up too early. Not hangover at all, just tired... The last few days have been quite long with much teaching, workshops for the new teachers, the mala project... Anyway, I went to teach my class, and it ended up being absolutely great! The energy was awesome, to my surprise the class was totally packed, and people were so open and genuine. My dear recurring teachers were there, and it was amazing to teach them. They are such great yogis and yoginis, so open minded, working so hard, but so soft in their thoughts. All great. Then i hang out, prepared my workshop, read a bit, and then led a hatha workshop for plenty of people. And it was amazing!!! Again, the energy was great, cool buzz, it was just awesome. My dear imperfect husband took pix, so i will be able to display them soon.
Anyway, it worked out to be a fabulous.
I have to go to get ready and prepare myself for the night of the night. A student is having a party in a club and I am on the list. I have not gone clubbing in ages, so this will definitely be interesting.
Tata.
IY
Monday, August 13, 2007
Why 108?
The glomal mala initiative will soon hit the world to celebrate the Summer Solstice and celebrate yoga in action in the world.
A lot of the Mala activities, be it the global mala project or malas that we perform in our individual practices, revolve around the number 108. 108 sun salutations, 108 beads, 108 mantras... And I have always been curious about why this number is so critical.
Here is what I found.
A lot of the Mala activities, be it the global mala project or malas that we perform in our individual practices, revolve around the number 108. 108 sun salutations, 108 beads, 108 mantras... And I have always been curious about why this number is so critical.
Here is what I found.
Meaning of 108 beads on a mala
by Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati
| | On a mala, or set of mantra counting beads, there are generally 108 beads, or some fraction of that number. The question often arises: Why are there 108 beads on a mala? |
Below are some of the many reasons that have been given for having 108 beads on a mala, as well as a few other points of interest. None of these reasons are being promoted here as more or less true than the others. However, you may notice that 108 appears to be somewhat like a road map of reality in general, and the human in particular.
Regardless of the meaning of 108, it is important that if a mala is used to count mantras, the mantra be remembered with sincerity, devotion, feeling, and full attention.
9 times 12: Both of these numbers have been said to have spiritual significance in many traditions. 9 times 12 is 108. Also, 1 plus 8 equals 9. That 9 times 12 equals 108.
Powers of 1, 2, and 3 in math: 1 to 1st power=1; 2 to 2nd power=4 (2x2); 3 to 3rd power=27 (3x3x3). 1x4x27=108
Harshad number: 108 is a Harshad number, which is an integer divisible by the sum of its digits (Harshad is from Sanskrit, and means "great joy")
Desires: There are said to be 108 earthly desires in mortals.
Lies: There are said to be 108 lies that humans tell.
Delusions: There are said to be 108 human delusions or forms of ignorance.
Heart Chakra: The chakras are the intersections of energy lines, and there are said to be a total of 108 energy lines converging to form the heart chakra. One of them, sushumna leads to the crown chakra, and is said to be the path to Self-realization.
Sanskrit alphabet: There are 54 letters in the Sanskrit alphabet. Each has masculine and feminine, shiva and shakti. 54 times 2 is 108.
Pranayama: If one is able to be so calm in meditation as to have only 108 breaths in a day, enlightenment will come.
Upanishads: Some say there are 108 Upanishads, texts of the wisdom of the ancient sages.
Sri Yantra: On the Sri Yantra there are marmas where three lines intersect, and there are 54 such intersections. Each intersections has masculine and feminine, shiva and shakti qualities. 54 times 2 equals 108. Thus, there are 108 points that define the Sri Yantra as well as the human body.
Pentagon: The angle formed by two adjacent lines in a pentagon equals 108 degrees.
Marmas: Marmas or marmasthanas are like energy intersections called chakras, except have fewer energy lines converging to form them. There are said to be 108 marmas in the subtle body.
Time: Some say there are 108 feelings, with 36 related to the past, 36 related to the present, and 36 related to the future.
8 extra beads: In doing a practice of counting the number of repetitions of the mala, 100 are counted as completed. The remaining are said to cover errors or omissions. The 8 are also said to be an offering to God and Guru.
Chemistry: Interestingly, there are about 115 elements known on the periodic table of the elements. Most of those, around or higher than the number 100 only exist in the laboratory, and some for only thousandths of a second. The number that naturally exist on Earth is around 100.
Astrology: There are 12 constellations, and 9 arc segments called namshas or chandrakalas. 9 times 12 equals 108. Chandra is moon, and kalas are the divisions within a whole.
River Ganga: The sacred River Ganga spans a longitude of 12 degrees (79 to 91), and a latitude of 9 degrees (22 to 31). 12 times 9 equals 108.
Planets and Houses: In astrology, there are 12 houses and 9 planets. 12 times 9 equals 108.
Goddess names: There are said to be 108 Indian goddess names.
Gopis of Krishna: In the Krishna tradition, there were said to be 108 gopis or maid servants of Krishna.
1, 0, and 8: Some say that 1 stands for God or higher Truth, 0 stands for emptiness or completeness in spiritual practice, and 8 stands for infinity or eternity.
Sun and Earth: The diameter of the Sun is 108 times the diameter of the Earth. The distance from the Sun to the Earth is 108 times the diameter of the Sun.
Moon and Earth: The average distance of the Moon from the Earth is 108 times the diameter of the Moon.
Silver and the moon: In astrology, the metal silver is said to represent the moon. The atomic weight of silver is 108.
Numerical scale: The 1 of 108, and the 8 of 108, when added together equals 9, which is the number of the numerical scale, i.e. 1, 2, 3 ... 10, etc., where 0 is not a number.
Meditations: Some say there are 108 styles of meditation.
Breath: Tantra estimates the average number of breaths per day at 21,600, of which 10,800 are solar energy, and 10,800 are lunar energy. Multiplying 108 by 100 is 10,800. Multiplying 2 x 10,800 equals 21,600.
Paths to God: Some suggest that there are 108 paths to God.
Smaller divisions: The number 108 is divided, such as in half, third, quarter, or twelfth, so that some malas have 54, 36, 27, or 9 beads.
Hinduism: 108 is said to refer to the number of Hindu deities. Some say that each of the deities has 108 names.
Islam: The number 108 is used in Islam to refer to God.
Jain: In the Jain religion, 108 are the combined virtues of five categories of holy ones, including 12, 8, 36, 25, and 27 virtues respectively.
Sikh: The Sikh tradition has a mala of 108 knots tied in a string of wool, rather than beads.
Buddhism: Some Buddhists carve 108 small Buddhas on a walnut for good luck. Some ring a bell 108 times to celebrate a new year. There are said to be 108 virtues to cultivate and 108 defilements to avoid.
Chinese: The Chinese Buddhists and Taoists use a 108 bead mala, which is called su-chu, and has three dividing beads, so the mala is divided into three parts of 36 each. Chinese astrology says that there are 108 sacred stars.
Stages of the soul: Said that Atman, the human soul or center goes through 108 stages on the journey.
Meru: This is a larger bead, not part of the 108. It is not tied in the sequence of the other beads. It is the quiding bead, the one that marks the beginning and end of the mala.
Dance: There are 108 forms of dance in the Indian traditions.
Praiseworthy souls: There are 108 qualities of praiseworthy souls.
First man in space: The first manned space flight lasted 108 minutes, and was on April 12, 1961 by Yuri Gagarin, a Soviet cosmonaut.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Further contractions of the public and free space in this Imperfect Island
My imperfect island has again censored events in relation with same-sex groups, to show that conservatism, old patterns and authoritarian behaviors are not out of fashion just yet.
www.yawningbread.org
www.yawningbread.org
So tired still...
I have been back for a week for LA, and my cold is finally getting under control. I refused to take any sort of medication, and let my body deal with it the natural way: rest (somewhat) and good food. It was quite uncomfortable, especially the alternating blocked ears. It's a challenge in general, but when you teach a class can't ever hear what you are saying, that's a toughie. Anyhow, things are better now, although I am still tired, and recovering from the lack of sleep of the LAX-SIN flight. I slept another 9 hours last night, which is way too much for my own good, but I guess i needed it.
Life is good otherwise, although I still feel like not much happening here. I mean, I am glad to be teaching, to be home, and so on, but it's such a low down compared to the excitement of the last 2 weeks. I did not quite figure it out until i recovered from my cold, but I am feeling a little bit depressed. Also, my cold has prevented me from having the kick-ass practice I had back in LA, and I feel down about it. I will do my best to rekindle the source, but I miss Shiva so much. I feel like my practice has dried out to bits since coming back. My teaching is definitely better, my students love it, but I feel that I may not be doing all I can. Horrible recurring sense of not being enough...
I think I need to go and get more of Shiva this year. It will have to be Kerala or Venice. I am waiting for Daphne, Shiva's manager, to send me the latest info on her schedule, and I will make my decision.
Well, that's it for today, not much I figure.
IY
Life is good otherwise, although I still feel like not much happening here. I mean, I am glad to be teaching, to be home, and so on, but it's such a low down compared to the excitement of the last 2 weeks. I did not quite figure it out until i recovered from my cold, but I am feeling a little bit depressed. Also, my cold has prevented me from having the kick-ass practice I had back in LA, and I feel down about it. I will do my best to rekindle the source, but I miss Shiva so much. I feel like my practice has dried out to bits since coming back. My teaching is definitely better, my students love it, but I feel that I may not be doing all I can. Horrible recurring sense of not being enough...
I think I need to go and get more of Shiva this year. It will have to be Kerala or Venice. I am waiting for Daphne, Shiva's manager, to send me the latest info on her schedule, and I will make my decision.
Well, that's it for today, not much I figure.
IY
Friday, August 3, 2007
Dry spell, dry thoat
Since I came back from LA, I have been sick with a nasty cold and total ear blocks. I suspect it is the champagne i had on board, which felt too good to be that good. Not really motivated to write since i touched down, as I feel a bit disconnected. I am so happy to be back home with my three crazy imperfect loved ones, but i have a hard time reconnecting to my practice (being unable to breathe obviously does not help) and with my energy. Let's hope it changes today.
IY
IY
Saturday, July 28, 2007
YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!
EXCLUSIVE - Last month we at Drowned Madonna told you that Madonna had a meeting and a dinner with Warner in New York to discuss possible release options for her new album, and we told you that Madonna wanted her album to be released this year, alongside October-November, so that she could tour next summer. We also told you that there was going to be an exclusive listening - 3 songs - to only Warner executives.
Drowned Madonna has learnt that this listening has already happened. As we told you, Warner executives have heard 3 tracks so far. One has HIT written all over it, and it wasn’t "Candy Shop".
They also talked about a TENTATIVE release date, which is due on October 29, 2007.
Furthermore, as we already confirmed on our community, Madonna is IN TALKS with director Chris Applebaum to direct a video.
Going back home
In the lounge, at LAX, about to board my flight back to my Imperfect Island. Looking forward to it, though I will be challenged to create the space I need to expand fully.
Shivahom!
Imperfect Husband, behold, I'm coming soon.
Je t'aime.
IY.
Shivahom!
Imperfect Husband, behold, I'm coming soon.
Je t'aime.
IY.
It's all over...
It's over now...
We closed this chapter in our Life yesterday. We did an improvised Kirtan as an opening to our morning practice, with you mats laid out in a mala around an altar dedicated to Ganesha. We danced, I rocked the house apparently (many people said so - I just launched my African beat moves :p) and finished in a long sweet stream of jai rade jai rade rade jai rade jai sri rade. Our inner song, the one to sing to ourselves when suffocated in a Prana-deprived environment. We create the rhythm of our lives and expand the Prana where it is lacking.
We closed the practice with 27 rounds of surya namaskar, as an offering to ourselves, our loved ones, the World and the Planet. Sweet, meditative. I was focused like I have never been in a mala of namaskars...
After some time on the beach with my buddies, we met on the grassy patch next to the bitch for some more thoughts sharing and a sweet ceremony where Shiva individually signed each one of our certificates, and placed a mala around our necks with a blessing. I miss her. I miss her energy. She rushed out, but I managed to grab a hug and tell her a sweet word. She acknowledged our connection, and I felt like crying... I miss her already so much... I know it will be a challenge to sustain that energy without her, but I must achieve it.
The day before, we had gone to the Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine, opened by Paramahansa Yogananda (Autobiography of a Yogi), where the ashes of Gandhi are located. Most amazing place, in the middle of Malibu. So heavily charged with Prana and meaning. I loved it. We took this as an opportunity to reflect on our Sva Dharma (Purpose in this Life), and I identified mine. I knew already quite well what it was, but this place gave me an incredible clarity, which allowed me to firm it up and word it up. After that, we went for a most amazing hike up the mountains behind pacific palisade, for a time of reflection. We were given material to formalise our meditation into a native Indian prayer arrow. While most people decided to take it with them, I felt the urge to live it there in the mountains. I had such a deep moment, I am so grateful that Shiva planned this for us.
Finally, we went to the beach with the whole group, and had an amazing time playing with huge huge waves for an hour. Perfect end to a perfect day. Of course, by the time, I was baked like a muffin (sun burnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnt) but happy :)
And it is now all over, which is a good thing. The challenge starts now. Will I be able to sustain the Energy? Will I be able to remain truthful to the inner truth and the Sva Dharma I have become intimate with? Will I have the strength to make my mark on this world?
Now is time for a last walk on the beach to Santa Monica before I leave for the airport...
Shanti.
IY
We closed this chapter in our Life yesterday. We did an improvised Kirtan as an opening to our morning practice, with you mats laid out in a mala around an altar dedicated to Ganesha. We danced, I rocked the house apparently (many people said so - I just launched my African beat moves :p) and finished in a long sweet stream of jai rade jai rade rade jai rade jai sri rade. Our inner song, the one to sing to ourselves when suffocated in a Prana-deprived environment. We create the rhythm of our lives and expand the Prana where it is lacking.
We closed the practice with 27 rounds of surya namaskar, as an offering to ourselves, our loved ones, the World and the Planet. Sweet, meditative. I was focused like I have never been in a mala of namaskars...
After some time on the beach with my buddies, we met on the grassy patch next to the bitch for some more thoughts sharing and a sweet ceremony where Shiva individually signed each one of our certificates, and placed a mala around our necks with a blessing. I miss her. I miss her energy. She rushed out, but I managed to grab a hug and tell her a sweet word. She acknowledged our connection, and I felt like crying... I miss her already so much... I know it will be a challenge to sustain that energy without her, but I must achieve it.
The day before, we had gone to the Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine, opened by Paramahansa Yogananda (Autobiography of a Yogi), where the ashes of Gandhi are located. Most amazing place, in the middle of Malibu. So heavily charged with Prana and meaning. I loved it. We took this as an opportunity to reflect on our Sva Dharma (Purpose in this Life), and I identified mine. I knew already quite well what it was, but this place gave me an incredible clarity, which allowed me to firm it up and word it up. After that, we went for a most amazing hike up the mountains behind pacific palisade, for a time of reflection. We were given material to formalise our meditation into a native Indian prayer arrow. While most people decided to take it with them, I felt the urge to live it there in the mountains. I had such a deep moment, I am so grateful that Shiva planned this for us.
Finally, we went to the beach with the whole group, and had an amazing time playing with huge huge waves for an hour. Perfect end to a perfect day. Of course, by the time, I was baked like a muffin (sun burnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnt) but happy :)
And it is now all over, which is a good thing. The challenge starts now. Will I be able to sustain the Energy? Will I be able to remain truthful to the inner truth and the Sva Dharma I have become intimate with? Will I have the strength to make my mark on this world?
Now is time for a last walk on the beach to Santa Monica before I leave for the airport...
Shanti.
IY
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Photos, YEAH! Spanda Spanda
Look for Spanda in the web dictionnary. I love that word. Key word of Shiva's sutras and Tantra Yoga.
Me and my delicious mentor Coral. What a star in the sky:
Morning practice today, and my trance in utkatanasa :)
Me and my delicious mentor Coral. What a star in the sky:
Morning practice today, and my trance in utkatanasa :)
Sahaja, sweet Sahaja
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooom
Om Namah Shivaya.
Love and peace and bliss
IY.
Om purna madah purna midam
Purnat purnamudacyate
Purnasya purnamadaya
Purnam-eva-vasisyate
Om Shantih Shantih Shantih
That is whole/perfect
This is whole/perfect;
The whole becomes manifest;
Taking away the whole
From the whole,
The whole remains.
Om peace peace peace
Om Namah Shivaya.
Love and peace and bliss
IY.
Mood stabilisers please
Well days follow each other and are certainly different.
After that day where all amazing asanas seemed to come to me, I had a horrible day. We started with our first self practice. I chose an 'evolutionary' sequence (meaning something I really don't like, i.e. back bends...). And surprisingly it went great. to the exception that all the energy locked in my heard got released (which I need), which set me up for a moody day. Besides, Shiva TOTALLY ignored me, as she went from mat to mat, and skipped me totally. So much so that at the end, as she was working on someone on the mat next to me, she said: so Franck, what did you do today? She had not looked at me at all!!! OH MY GOD that made me go crazy. I felt resentful, heartbroken and hurt the whole day. I love her so much, have so much respect for her and receive so much from her... and she doesn't seem to care. So anyway, I was moody the whole day, also because no one was expressing a fancy for me in the group, and I want to feel attractive, which I did not. So anyway, that made me even more pissed off and just made the day hell.
Even my imperfect husband could not help, though I am not an easy one to cheer when I am down. Sorry darling :)
But today I wake up, feeling better, check my email and BAM! Great news, I have been promoted to Managing Teacher in my new studio. YEAH, triple YEAH!
So just to say that one should not dwell on one's misery, cause it does not lat (generally :p).
SHIVAHOM!
Off for the second day of Sva Sadhana, Self Practice. I will be on fire, in a pool of water today.
IY
After that day where all amazing asanas seemed to come to me, I had a horrible day. We started with our first self practice. I chose an 'evolutionary' sequence (meaning something I really don't like, i.e. back bends...). And surprisingly it went great. to the exception that all the energy locked in my heard got released (which I need), which set me up for a moody day. Besides, Shiva TOTALLY ignored me, as she went from mat to mat, and skipped me totally. So much so that at the end, as she was working on someone on the mat next to me, she said: so Franck, what did you do today? She had not looked at me at all!!! OH MY GOD that made me go crazy. I felt resentful, heartbroken and hurt the whole day. I love her so much, have so much respect for her and receive so much from her... and she doesn't seem to care. So anyway, I was moody the whole day, also because no one was expressing a fancy for me in the group, and I want to feel attractive, which I did not. So anyway, that made me even more pissed off and just made the day hell.
Even my imperfect husband could not help, though I am not an easy one to cheer when I am down. Sorry darling :)
But today I wake up, feeling better, check my email and BAM! Great news, I have been promoted to Managing Teacher in my new studio. YEAH, triple YEAH!
So just to say that one should not dwell on one's misery, cause it does not lat (generally :p).
SHIVAHOM!
Off for the second day of Sva Sadhana, Self Practice. I will be on fire, in a pool of water today.
IY
Monday, July 23, 2007
What just happened today?
I am dubious.
I had a bad day yesterday. Very lunar practice with no namaskar, which took me into deep forward bends in a cold body. Not fun, frustrating, challenging, torturous, ungrounded, painful and quite depressing to tell the truth. As we had just moved into the heart chakra, the result of this was that I was sad the whole day, and to be honest, quite frustrated with my inability to achieve anything at all. It all ended with a walk back home in the cold, and - first time i see that in LA in July - RAIN!
So I am dubious because today turned out to be the total opposite, in a very surprising way. I had an amazing practice today to start with. We are working on the heart chakra, Anahata, and so went down the road of a somewhat lunar but very deep practice. And to be surprise, I managed many firsts in my life: almost full triang mukha eka pada paschimottanasana (http://ashtangayoga.info/asana-vinyasa/primary-series/11-Triang-Mukha-Eka-Pada-Paschimottanasana.html), then reclined version, straight up into eka pada urdhva danurasana back into the reclined version. I also managed a full lunge with a back bend, far enough for my fingers to touch the earth. It may not seem much, but if you guys have seen the tightness in my inner hips and upper spine, you would appreciate the progress.
After that, we had an amazing lecture (3rd in a series of 4) by Paul Eduardo Muller-Ortega, a renounced scholar in religious studies. Today was amazing. This guy is not only a scholar, he is an avid practitioner of kashmiri shyavism, and of tantric yoga. This was so deep, simple, beautiful and enriching. I thank Shiva for allowing us access to him (very difficult to get to see him) and to him for being so enlightened.
And after that, we had a fun teacher's lab. We went through all the marma nadi namaskars again, and after that had some fun. And one more first, I got into titibasana!!!!! For those who wonder, it looks like that: http://ashtangayoga.info/asana-vinyasa/primary-series/21d-Supta-Kurmasana-Vinyasa-out.html.
And not just that, I then managed so lightly to go from eka pada hasta bujhasana to astavakrana to eka pada koundinyasana B to bakasana. Several times. No effort.
I like California, I am better here :)
Anyway, good day, with a lot of connections with a lot of great lovely people.
Shanti and Shivoham!
IY
I had a bad day yesterday. Very lunar practice with no namaskar, which took me into deep forward bends in a cold body. Not fun, frustrating, challenging, torturous, ungrounded, painful and quite depressing to tell the truth. As we had just moved into the heart chakra, the result of this was that I was sad the whole day, and to be honest, quite frustrated with my inability to achieve anything at all. It all ended with a walk back home in the cold, and - first time i see that in LA in July - RAIN!
So I am dubious because today turned out to be the total opposite, in a very surprising way. I had an amazing practice today to start with. We are working on the heart chakra, Anahata, and so went down the road of a somewhat lunar but very deep practice. And to be surprise, I managed many firsts in my life: almost full triang mukha eka pada paschimottanasana (http://ashtangayoga.info/asana-vinyasa/primary-series/11-Triang-Mukha-Eka-Pada-Paschimottanasana.html), then reclined version, straight up into eka pada urdhva danurasana back into the reclined version. I also managed a full lunge with a back bend, far enough for my fingers to touch the earth. It may not seem much, but if you guys have seen the tightness in my inner hips and upper spine, you would appreciate the progress.
After that, we had an amazing lecture (3rd in a series of 4) by Paul Eduardo Muller-Ortega, a renounced scholar in religious studies. Today was amazing. This guy is not only a scholar, he is an avid practitioner of kashmiri shyavism, and of tantric yoga. This was so deep, simple, beautiful and enriching. I thank Shiva for allowing us access to him (very difficult to get to see him) and to him for being so enlightened.
And after that, we had a fun teacher's lab. We went through all the marma nadi namaskars again, and after that had some fun. And one more first, I got into titibasana!!!!! For those who wonder, it looks like that: http://ashtangayoga.info/asana-vinyasa/primary-series/21d-Supta-Kurmasana-Vinyasa-out.html.
And not just that, I then managed so lightly to go from eka pada hasta bujhasana to astavakrana to eka pada koundinyasana B to bakasana. Several times. No effort.
I like California, I am better here :)
Anyway, good day, with a lot of connections with a lot of great lovely people.
Shanti and Shivoham!
IY
Teacher lab, Mala beach party and Kirtan shots
Shiva telling us about the Sva Dharma, and the organic arising of our role in this Life...
Out of the Grassy Nole for the teaching laboratorium
At the Global Mala Beach Party
Kirtan with Dave Stringer:
Out of the Grassy Nole for the teaching laboratorium
At the Global Mala Beach Party
Kirtan with Dave Stringer:
Saturday, July 21, 2007
The fire has been turned off
Another day of fire... Last night Trance Dance was an amazing experience. I strongly recommend that anyone who has never attended one of these events do so ASAP. It's like a club, with a Flow, and an intention, less alcohol and smoke. The experience was tentalising, and totally cured me of my suspected sickness.
I woke up LATE this morning cause there was no way i could go to sleep last night after the dance. But this was schedule so as we went to clean the beach as part of the SEVA project at 10 only this morning. That was ok, allowed me to wake up with little trouble.
And then there was the practice. 3.30 hours of Agni practice. Oh my god, i was burning all around. What intensity, what combustion of limitations, what crazy sequences, we did about 8 to 10 hand stand kick-ups on each leg throughout the practice, did a partnered version, and a long, long, long, long, long sequence of hamstring stretches and balancing poses. My quads were on fire the whole time. We did these amazing Kriyas! WAHE! Hanuman Kriya most especially was exhilarating. Hanuman mudra is interesting too.
After that, we hit the beach for a yoga teacher party. It was nice and relaxing. The best part was taking pictures for the official posters of the Global Mala Project.
And after that: KIRTAN. Amazing as well, with David Stringer. First time I see a Kirtan with flute, saxophone, electric guitar... Everyone stood up to dance like crazy on EVERY song. that was quite an experience. And to top it all off, Donna De Lorry, was there. It may not matter to many, although she is an extremely talented singer of her own. But she is the back-up singer of Madonna on all her shows. Yeah!
Rocking week.
Tomorrow is a new day, and we enter a new Chakra: Anahata. Time to open the heart and crack my upper spine open.
Shivahom!
IY
PS: my teaching schedule when i come back is not cool at all. 13 hot classes in a week, that is not cool at all, when I am the only one in that case...
I woke up LATE this morning cause there was no way i could go to sleep last night after the dance. But this was schedule so as we went to clean the beach as part of the SEVA project at 10 only this morning. That was ok, allowed me to wake up with little trouble.
And then there was the practice. 3.30 hours of Agni practice. Oh my god, i was burning all around. What intensity, what combustion of limitations, what crazy sequences, we did about 8 to 10 hand stand kick-ups on each leg throughout the practice, did a partnered version, and a long, long, long, long, long sequence of hamstring stretches and balancing poses. My quads were on fire the whole time. We did these amazing Kriyas! WAHE! Hanuman Kriya most especially was exhilarating. Hanuman mudra is interesting too.
After that, we hit the beach for a yoga teacher party. It was nice and relaxing. The best part was taking pictures for the official posters of the Global Mala Project.
And after that: KIRTAN. Amazing as well, with David Stringer. First time I see a Kirtan with flute, saxophone, electric guitar... Everyone stood up to dance like crazy on EVERY song. that was quite an experience. And to top it all off, Donna De Lorry, was there. It may not matter to many, although she is an extremely talented singer of her own. But she is the back-up singer of Madonna on all her shows. Yeah!
Rocking week.
Tomorrow is a new day, and we enter a new Chakra: Anahata. Time to open the heart and crack my upper spine open.
Shivahom!
IY
PS: my teaching schedule when i come back is not cool at all. 13 hot classes in a week, that is not cool at all, when I am the only one in that case...
Friday, July 20, 2007
Agni, the alchemical fire
I am sore. Am I sick? I seriously hope not. I believe this is just a reaction of the agni practice we had this morning.
I had a nice long night of sleep, and woke up very rested, which is nice. We went for meditation, and then Shiva announced that today was an Agni practice. I knew that we were entering the first day of our Fire practice, after Earth and Water, but did not know there would be a particular ritual to it. And there was.
We started with an om and mantra to Ganesha in Ganesha mudra, which was both new and powerful. Then, Shiva made an offering of fire, burning some incense and oils in a beautiful Indian metal plate. We chanted a different mantra 9 times, and finished in a sea of oms. And then the practice started. OH MY GOD! Facing the sun, she announced to us that we were going through a very simple practice designed to activate the fire within us. In the core. In Manipura Chakra.
We did rounds of nines :-) 9 uddiyana bandha Kriya (and I had had Mexican again the night before, CONTRAINDICATION, TRUST ME!!!), and then variations on surya namaskar, the main one being that each round involved 12 repetitions of the movement between plank and chaturanga dandasana. And that occurred 9 times in the practice. We then did various repetitions and variations on lunge, vira 1... I managed to bind in revolved parsvakonasana with the back foot down without bringing the knee to the floor on both sides. Yeah :)
After what seemed a VERY long flow with too many chaturanga, I realised that I had finally surrendered. I was so much in my head at the beginning of the Flow, and in the first chaturanga s, that I had mentally given up already. Then I moved into the heart and the core, and Manipura took over. I finished very strongly, forgetting where we were in the counts, and remaining in each breath, without anticipating the next. What an experience. We finished in a strong core activation peak pose, hold the first set 1 breath, up to the 9th set for nine breaths, legs and arms in the air, seat bones and shoulder blades of the floor... We ended with a kriya of our choice, a cleansing practice with either baddha konasana, bhujangasana, upward dog, danurasana or urdhva danurasana. As my Manipura chakra was so strongly activated, I went for upward bow, and that was very powerful, we did a krama over 9 breaths, and that was a very releasing experience. Wow. The fire was BURNING at the end of this flow. Most beautiful sivasana of course...
I then finally got the courage to get started working on all my projects, including the global mama project, which i will organise in Singapore. By chance, I ran into my dear dear mentor Coral, and we talked a lot. she is adorable. In a way, she reassured me on the fact that I am seen as an anchor my Shiva and the assistants, and that they expect me to go far with them in Shiva's steps. We connected a lot about our personal lives and other things. She really supported me with my plans to talk and write to Shiva, and I know she will circle back with Shiva regularly on my behalf.
Most beautiful day, thus. Though I feel strange now. Almost sick, but let's hope it's just the agni.
Trance dance in an hour, I will let you know.
IY
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Opening up...
Opening to grace, that's what i try and achieve every morning now with my meditation practice. Today, for the second day, i completed a full Mala, which today was dedicated to mister Imperfect Yogi back home. It is a soothing experience to devote some minutes to the person you love, and dwell on your emotions for him. And he needs it today. Shiva had that beautiful image to close our meditation, comparing us to a field of sunflowers in the south of France, popping our head to the sun and moving slightly through the day to continue and enjoy his rays.
After that, we kicked an amazing practice again. I have to say I was VERY sore from Seane's class last night, and my first adho mukha svanasana was not a happy one. My first lunge was a real torture... but the rest of the practice was (almost) a breeze. We did Dancing Warrior 1008, the most beautiful of all, and an amazing flow leading to full danurasana and pincha mayurasana. All so great. I got a great assist in wheel again from Corral this time, and in the ardha baddha pashimottanasana twist. I feel amazing since then.
After that, we had the teaching lab, which was fun. I partner up with Andrew, a lovely guy from DC. He is my official lab buddy. It was fun and short, as we had to rush back quickly for the second leg of the session with Paul Ortega. Very very interesting, but i have to admit i was tired today and totally phased out during the first hour. Plus, I was thinking too much of my mister back home, who is tense today, and whom I would love to be with to help. We are so far and yet so close, I feel him next to me all the time, and send him prana the whole time I am awake.
The session was good though, and we approached some really crucial issues. The whole fact that we live with the illusion of eternity, when our time in this Life is finite and very short, so we had better rush and act quickly to complete our dharma. Also, we should not live in the fear if impending death, and instead focus on action and meditation. All very good. I must make a move towards my dharma.
We had another teaching lab, which was really interesting, where Shiva gave us questions to reflect upon. What is melting in you? What is arising that needs to be dissolved and recreated. I had a great brainstorming session with a lovely girl from Seattle, Heather, who went through similar issues as me, relating to the release of creative material and so on. She strongly suggested I find my own practice of creativity, but that I ought to let the bubble burst shortly. She suggested this cool book, which I think I will get online.
To close the day, I got to message my dearest, after his first class, who was in a slightly better mood, but i wish i could have crossed the ocean to meet him and care him as he deserves.
And to close this, I had a real nice meal (was starving today) with a Caesar salad, some salsa with chips and a mini bowl of pasta :)
Love to you all.
IY
After that, we kicked an amazing practice again. I have to say I was VERY sore from Seane's class last night, and my first adho mukha svanasana was not a happy one. My first lunge was a real torture... but the rest of the practice was (almost) a breeze. We did Dancing Warrior 1008, the most beautiful of all, and an amazing flow leading to full danurasana and pincha mayurasana. All so great. I got a great assist in wheel again from Corral this time, and in the ardha baddha pashimottanasana twist. I feel amazing since then.
After that, we had the teaching lab, which was fun. I partner up with Andrew, a lovely guy from DC. He is my official lab buddy. It was fun and short, as we had to rush back quickly for the second leg of the session with Paul Ortega. Very very interesting, but i have to admit i was tired today and totally phased out during the first hour. Plus, I was thinking too much of my mister back home, who is tense today, and whom I would love to be with to help. We are so far and yet so close, I feel him next to me all the time, and send him prana the whole time I am awake.
The session was good though, and we approached some really crucial issues. The whole fact that we live with the illusion of eternity, when our time in this Life is finite and very short, so we had better rush and act quickly to complete our dharma. Also, we should not live in the fear if impending death, and instead focus on action and meditation. All very good. I must make a move towards my dharma.
We had another teaching lab, which was really interesting, where Shiva gave us questions to reflect upon. What is melting in you? What is arising that needs to be dissolved and recreated. I had a great brainstorming session with a lovely girl from Seattle, Heather, who went through similar issues as me, relating to the release of creative material and so on. She strongly suggested I find my own practice of creativity, but that I ought to let the bubble burst shortly. She suggested this cool book, which I think I will get online.
To close the day, I got to message my dearest, after his first class, who was in a slightly better mood, but i wish i could have crossed the ocean to meet him and care him as he deserves.
And to close this, I had a real nice meal (was starving today) with a Caesar salad, some salsa with chips and a mini bowl of pasta :)
Love to you all.
IY
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Day 5
Nice nice nice day...
Beautiful meditation this morning. I went through the whole mandala, and had a powerful bhakti celebration. The class was beautiful this morning, starting with a long long repetition of mandala namaskar 1, which is a beautiful circular salutation, with a lot of deep hip opening and circular motion throughout. We then moved into a beautiful - though short flow - leading up to dragonfly. I almost managed it but we were too rushed to spend too much time on this. We then entered our daily back-bend sadhana, which was so great. Michael, an assistant, helped me out and for the first time, I FELT MY WHEEL! Oh my god, he got my arms in the right closed in position, and my legs close in, heels down. What sretch on the quads. It was beautiful. We did this twice. Beautiful closure to the Sadhana, as usual, with Shiva's amazing words. She cracked us up again today, playing the police and lenny kravitz during the namaskar, as we were riding the crazy waves of our flow. Loved it.
The afternoon was very interesting with a conference with a university scholar, who wrote 'the Triadic Heart of Shiva'. So very interesting to hear personal experiences and educated views on meditation, life management and happiness. Amazing guy!
After that, we rushed into the teacher lab, which was ok though we were in the sun and i was cooking totally. I am now officially roasted on top of the head, shoulders, chest and face :)
I cut this short as I had to attend Seane's Corn class, which I am so grateful for. She just started teaching at the Sacred Movement, where we have most of our sessions, and I bought a pass for 50 dollars, which allows me access to all classes and the spa. Her class was nice. Clean, tough, hard work. A lot of core, a lot of hips (as if I had not had enough) and looooooong holds. Oh my god, we were all puffing and huffing. Was great though. I enjoyed it. We finished we that cool variation of cow face, lying down. We also did prasaritta from lunge with cow face variation. Nice good work. I spoke to her after class and she is an adorable person.
After that, I went to buy (healthy) grocery, rushed home and ATE FINALLY!!!!!
Now in bed, ready to drift into the wave of the night.
Take care all.
YI
Beautiful meditation this morning. I went through the whole mandala, and had a powerful bhakti celebration. The class was beautiful this morning, starting with a long long repetition of mandala namaskar 1, which is a beautiful circular salutation, with a lot of deep hip opening and circular motion throughout. We then moved into a beautiful - though short flow - leading up to dragonfly. I almost managed it but we were too rushed to spend too much time on this. We then entered our daily back-bend sadhana, which was so great. Michael, an assistant, helped me out and for the first time, I FELT MY WHEEL! Oh my god, he got my arms in the right closed in position, and my legs close in, heels down. What sretch on the quads. It was beautiful. We did this twice. Beautiful closure to the Sadhana, as usual, with Shiva's amazing words. She cracked us up again today, playing the police and lenny kravitz during the namaskar, as we were riding the crazy waves of our flow. Loved it.
The afternoon was very interesting with a conference with a university scholar, who wrote 'the Triadic Heart of Shiva'. So very interesting to hear personal experiences and educated views on meditation, life management and happiness. Amazing guy!
After that, we rushed into the teacher lab, which was ok though we were in the sun and i was cooking totally. I am now officially roasted on top of the head, shoulders, chest and face :)
I cut this short as I had to attend Seane's Corn class, which I am so grateful for. She just started teaching at the Sacred Movement, where we have most of our sessions, and I bought a pass for 50 dollars, which allows me access to all classes and the spa. Her class was nice. Clean, tough, hard work. A lot of core, a lot of hips (as if I had not had enough) and looooooong holds. Oh my god, we were all puffing and huffing. Was great though. I enjoyed it. We finished we that cool variation of cow face, lying down. We also did prasaritta from lunge with cow face variation. Nice good work. I spoke to her after class and she is an adorable person.
After that, I went to buy (healthy) grocery, rushed home and ATE FINALLY!!!!!
Now in bed, ready to drift into the wave of the night.
Take care all.
YI
Monday, July 16, 2007
Eka Pada Frankasana
Amazing day again. God I love Shiva.
I will skip the little things and go to the juicy part. After this morning's practice, which was totally incredible (mandala namaskar prep, mandala namaskar 2, solar waves around bujapidasana, silver surfer, ardha bekasana... peaking in standing visvamistrasana), I had a short rest then went back for the afternoon session. We had this really cool discussion on krama and Shiva made us laugh so much. She is hilarious when she gets into her stuff.
Anyway, during the break, she was alone - FOR ONCE - and I went to ask her my millennium question: how the F-U-C-K do you get up into eka pada bakasana? For those who don't know, this pose is my total kryptonite. No matter how and how hard i try, i just can't make it. Anyway, i started telling her my bullshit excuses: 'uh, I think my waist is too short and my legs too long...' and she told me shoosh, shhooooooshhh, SHOOSH! She said try. After flattening my self like a pancake, I looked at her. After several further discussions including a lot of my bullshit :) she asked me to go into prep, which i did, then she asked to dip forward chest towards the earth which I did, then to coil into the core, which I did, then push my supporting leg down into the arm, which I did, to extend my leg back, which I did. And ooooooooohhhhh miracle. I was in Eka Pada Bakasana. If you have never struggled to the core for an asana, you can't relate. But how great I felt. She was very happy too. And so were the 15 or so people who had gathered around to look at me. And that took 3 minutes. SHE IS AMAZING!
Anyway, after that, we did a bit of practicing teaching, where I met Gopi, a really sweet and nice Indian Brit who lives in DC. We had a lot of fun playing with poetry and metaphors. She gave me some very good feed-back, which is to pause. Take time to take time. My flow is nice and slow, but I don't stop. Great feed-back. Thanks Gopi.
After that, we went to the teacher exploratorium, which was OK. I partnered with Andrew, a guy who i think is gay, from DC. Very nice. We did our teaching practice on Mandala Namaskar prep again. That was good. But after that, we sat down cause people had questions, and that became 'chiant'. Luckily, I had to leave early as I was on my way to Shiva's public class.
OH MY GOD, I have never sweated to much, and I have never loved a class so much. We got into this amazing progression from (uttanasana, lunge with pulsation with back bend and core activation, eka bakasana prep, vasistasana variations, back bend variations). It was totally non stop, non stop for 1.5 hours. People were moaning in a good way, letting the energy out, and loving it. She dedicated eka pada bakasana to me and my birthday, renamed it eka pada Frankasana :) I loved it, I was totally on fire. At the end, 2 urdhva danurasana (how open was I), and shoulder stand and that's it. En vrac: don't just pay the toll in chaturanga, sri sri Chaturanga (YEAH!!!), up dog with toes under from cobra...
After that, I was totally high, really high, as if I had taken illicit products. I was burning, on fire, excited, and at the same time in an amazing space. I went home, did my laundering, had a fantastic and big burrito (I was hungry by then, trust me).
Oh what a day. Shiva, I love you, and though I thought I would never mean that for any of my teachers., I worship you always. I love you so much.
Bye everyone. Sorry if that was thick, but the day was intense.
IY
I will skip the little things and go to the juicy part. After this morning's practice, which was totally incredible (mandala namaskar prep, mandala namaskar 2, solar waves around bujapidasana, silver surfer, ardha bekasana... peaking in standing visvamistrasana), I had a short rest then went back for the afternoon session. We had this really cool discussion on krama and Shiva made us laugh so much. She is hilarious when she gets into her stuff.
Anyway, during the break, she was alone - FOR ONCE - and I went to ask her my millennium question: how the F-U-C-K do you get up into eka pada bakasana? For those who don't know, this pose is my total kryptonite. No matter how and how hard i try, i just can't make it. Anyway, i started telling her my bullshit excuses: 'uh, I think my waist is too short and my legs too long...' and she told me shoosh, shhooooooshhh, SHOOSH! She said try. After flattening my self like a pancake, I looked at her. After several further discussions including a lot of my bullshit :) she asked me to go into prep, which i did, then she asked to dip forward chest towards the earth which I did, then to coil into the core, which I did, then push my supporting leg down into the arm, which I did, to extend my leg back, which I did. And ooooooooohhhhh miracle. I was in Eka Pada Bakasana. If you have never struggled to the core for an asana, you can't relate. But how great I felt. She was very happy too. And so were the 15 or so people who had gathered around to look at me. And that took 3 minutes. SHE IS AMAZING!
Anyway, after that, we did a bit of practicing teaching, where I met Gopi, a really sweet and nice Indian Brit who lives in DC. We had a lot of fun playing with poetry and metaphors. She gave me some very good feed-back, which is to pause. Take time to take time. My flow is nice and slow, but I don't stop. Great feed-back. Thanks Gopi.
After that, we went to the teacher exploratorium, which was OK. I partnered with Andrew, a guy who i think is gay, from DC. Very nice. We did our teaching practice on Mandala Namaskar prep again. That was good. But after that, we sat down cause people had questions, and that became 'chiant'. Luckily, I had to leave early as I was on my way to Shiva's public class.
OH MY GOD, I have never sweated to much, and I have never loved a class so much. We got into this amazing progression from (uttanasana, lunge with pulsation with back bend and core activation, eka bakasana prep, vasistasana variations, back bend variations). It was totally non stop, non stop for 1.5 hours. People were moaning in a good way, letting the energy out, and loving it. She dedicated eka pada bakasana to me and my birthday, renamed it eka pada Frankasana :) I loved it, I was totally on fire. At the end, 2 urdhva danurasana (how open was I), and shoulder stand and that's it. En vrac: don't just pay the toll in chaturanga, sri sri Chaturanga (YEAH!!!), up dog with toes under from cobra...
After that, I was totally high, really high, as if I had taken illicit products. I was burning, on fire, excited, and at the same time in an amazing space. I went home, did my laundering, had a fantastic and big burrito (I was hungry by then, trust me).
Oh what a day. Shiva, I love you, and though I thought I would never mean that for any of my teachers., I worship you always. I love you so much.
Bye everyone. Sorry if that was thick, but the day was intense.
IY
Rushing out but you deserve an update
Great afternoon yesterday. Very interesting discussions and work around Swadisthana Chakra, our connection to fluidity, creativity, sensuality and sexuality. To cut a long story short, I have the water but it's not flowing.
Afternoon finished with Shiva surprising me at the end of the session for my birthday, offering me a Ganesha and a card, and a trance dance on music i like, so that all of us (80) started dancing like crazy for 15 minutes, all around me :)
As per Shiva's command, I went to the Ocean to experience rebirth in the flow. I had a great time and lost my keys. :p
Drama resolved quickly (the manager of the hotel was in the office, which NEVER happens) and i was on my way to the evening session in Santa Monica with Shiva's husband on Ayurveda. Uber-interesting.
I finished with dinner with Nik, my good friend, in a very good (and pricey) Italian restaurant on the beach front in Venice, and had a lovely risotto next to William Hurt who happenned to be dining there too.
Great morning today, day 3. I TOTALLY CONNECT WITH MY WATER and had the most amazing practice. We went into arm balances, bird of paradise... and I was flying.
Anyway, very happy now, excited about the rest of the intensive and of my life.
All my love.
IY
Afternoon finished with Shiva surprising me at the end of the session for my birthday, offering me a Ganesha and a card, and a trance dance on music i like, so that all of us (80) started dancing like crazy for 15 minutes, all around me :)
As per Shiva's command, I went to the Ocean to experience rebirth in the flow. I had a great time and lost my keys. :p
Drama resolved quickly (the manager of the hotel was in the office, which NEVER happens) and i was on my way to the evening session in Santa Monica with Shiva's husband on Ayurveda. Uber-interesting.
I finished with dinner with Nik, my good friend, in a very good (and pricey) Italian restaurant on the beach front in Venice, and had a lovely risotto next to William Hurt who happenned to be dining there too.
Great morning today, day 3. I TOTALLY CONNECT WITH MY WATER and had the most amazing practice. We went into arm balances, bird of paradise... and I was flying.
Anyway, very happy now, excited about the rest of the intensive and of my life.
All my love.
IY
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Day 2 - Morning
Aching thighs and shoulders... This is what I woke up with, as a definite evidence of the work we did yesterday. But that motivated me even more to rush in, practice and burn these aches into strength.
We started right away this morning, for about 2hrs of Sadhana. Though we started with some structured namaskar (jala and surfee namaskar), we ended up going in a total Sahaja flow (no structure, totally spontaneous), where Shiva led us through amazing water-inspired moves, and then let us finish in a free flow of spontaneously arising postures. It's funny how structure is so ingrained in all of us though. Halfway through, Kishan, an assistant, asked me to continue deeper, and surrender more to the Flow and let go of the form. Which I did, and I had an amazing moment moving through beautiful shapes in a wave like motion, back and forth, no always finishing in the full form of the asana, but definitely embodying something.
This great moment finished with a beautiful meditation, and a quick escape of the room to let the next class come in. I had the most delicious smoothie after class. We got this Juice It Up store that allows us buy smoothies at a 20% discount, and they get prepared just ahead of time, so they are nice and cold and ready by the time we finish class. Awesome.
I was going to go to the Spa after class, but figured I ought to do some laundry first. I will go to the spa this afternoon right after class, before the evening session in Santa Monica.
Let the flow be with us. Imperfect Husband, I love you. Moomoo and Keke I adore you. The rest of the world, I worship you.
IY
PS: it's my birthday today :)
We started right away this morning, for about 2hrs of Sadhana. Though we started with some structured namaskar (jala and surfee namaskar), we ended up going in a total Sahaja flow (no structure, totally spontaneous), where Shiva led us through amazing water-inspired moves, and then let us finish in a free flow of spontaneously arising postures. It's funny how structure is so ingrained in all of us though. Halfway through, Kishan, an assistant, asked me to continue deeper, and surrender more to the Flow and let go of the form. Which I did, and I had an amazing moment moving through beautiful shapes in a wave like motion, back and forth, no always finishing in the full form of the asana, but definitely embodying something.
This great moment finished with a beautiful meditation, and a quick escape of the room to let the next class come in. I had the most delicious smoothie after class. We got this Juice It Up store that allows us buy smoothies at a 20% discount, and they get prepared just ahead of time, so they are nice and cold and ready by the time we finish class. Awesome.
I was going to go to the Spa after class, but figured I ought to do some laundry first. I will go to the spa this afternoon right after class, before the evening session in Santa Monica.
Let the flow be with us. Imperfect Husband, I love you. Moomoo and Keke I adore you. The rest of the world, I worship you.
IY
PS: it's my birthday today :)
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Day 1 - Shiva's summer immersion
Resting in bed, it's 9.30PM.
The bad news today is that I could not be bothered to attend the evening session (opening ceremony up in Malibu on the hills). The combined effect of a long first day, of a number of admin things to do, of the jet lag and of the distance of the venue (with car pooling involved) drove me to stay home and enjoy a free sweet night.
The day was amazing. The morning was great (see below). After updating my blog, I went down to the beach (which is a long walk away from my door: the sand stretches forever before you reach the ocean), walked in the water for a while and enjoyed the amazing breath, energy and radiance of the Pacific Ocean. I initially wanted to jump in a swim for a while, but the fact that my feet almost turned blue when i stepped into the water suggested I refrain from immersing my whole body in the very very cold blue liquid.
The afternoon session was nice, mostly spent on analysing our mudhara chakra, discussing with partners... Shiva asked if anyone had anything to share, had a spanda arising to take the mic and talk. the first three ladies who took the mic shared very sad and dramatic stories, one of them even cried, about how life is tough and they don't feel loved or celebrated in their bodies... It was so sad, and I am so grounded these days in my Muladhara (mainly refers to the areas of health/embodiment, home, relationships and Dharma/livelihood) that a tremor (spanda) occurred, and i decided to take the mic to say that Muladhara was an exciting place to be, and that it was important to take the time to root oneself, to feel that joy. I made people laugh a lot. I guess some will think I am proud to stand up just to say that I am doing well and am happy, but that is what my spanda was about. It was fun though.
I finally connected with Coral, my teacher training mentor, who is adorable and hugged me the whole time. I am sure something interesting will happen for my birthday tomorrow.
Talking about birthday, my dearest dearest Imperfect Husband, whom I love so very much (I know you are reading this, dear), was the first one to wish me a happy birthday, given that my birthday is spanning three continents this year: my home in Asia, my roots in Europe, my body in America. Long stream of good wishes, and a few arrived already. I am actually feeling nothing major about turning 30. Anyway, we will see tomorrow.
After the afternoon session, I decided to attend a yoga class, as the morning practice totally helped my back, but was too short to completely fix it. So I attended Twee Merigan's (Shiva's assistant) class at Exhale. Few people, but very nice. Started a bit strange with a long breathing meditation in Shiva Lingam mudra, but it turned out very very fun, quite challenging with some cool moves: nice balancing sequence leading at the end to Garudasana, Vasistasana and Eka Pada Raja Kapotasana, and a few other things. Anyway, totally fixed my back, I felt nice and happy after that. Went to get a nice smoothie from the store next door and an organic avocado and tofu sandwich for dinner, which proved surprisingly tasty.
At this very moment, I feel the waves of sleeping slowly coming over me, and I know i won't be up long. I need to rest as I feel tomorrow ill be arm balancing, with, I suspect, and interesting flow including Eka Paka Utkatasana to Galavasana to Eka Pasa Utkatasana to dragonfly and a few other things. We shall see.
Love to Shiva, IH, Moomoo, Keke and all the other heart centers in my life.
Good night.
IY
The bad news today is that I could not be bothered to attend the evening session (opening ceremony up in Malibu on the hills). The combined effect of a long first day, of a number of admin things to do, of the jet lag and of the distance of the venue (with car pooling involved) drove me to stay home and enjoy a free sweet night.
The day was amazing. The morning was great (see below). After updating my blog, I went down to the beach (which is a long walk away from my door: the sand stretches forever before you reach the ocean), walked in the water for a while and enjoyed the amazing breath, energy and radiance of the Pacific Ocean. I initially wanted to jump in a swim for a while, but the fact that my feet almost turned blue when i stepped into the water suggested I refrain from immersing my whole body in the very very cold blue liquid.
The afternoon session was nice, mostly spent on analysing our mudhara chakra, discussing with partners... Shiva asked if anyone had anything to share, had a spanda arising to take the mic and talk. the first three ladies who took the mic shared very sad and dramatic stories, one of them even cried, about how life is tough and they don't feel loved or celebrated in their bodies... It was so sad, and I am so grounded these days in my Muladhara (mainly refers to the areas of health/embodiment, home, relationships and Dharma/livelihood) that a tremor (spanda) occurred, and i decided to take the mic to say that Muladhara was an exciting place to be, and that it was important to take the time to root oneself, to feel that joy. I made people laugh a lot. I guess some will think I am proud to stand up just to say that I am doing well and am happy, but that is what my spanda was about. It was fun though.
I finally connected with Coral, my teacher training mentor, who is adorable and hugged me the whole time. I am sure something interesting will happen for my birthday tomorrow.
Talking about birthday, my dearest dearest Imperfect Husband, whom I love so very much (I know you are reading this, dear), was the first one to wish me a happy birthday, given that my birthday is spanning three continents this year: my home in Asia, my roots in Europe, my body in America. Long stream of good wishes, and a few arrived already. I am actually feeling nothing major about turning 30. Anyway, we will see tomorrow.
After the afternoon session, I decided to attend a yoga class, as the morning practice totally helped my back, but was too short to completely fix it. So I attended Twee Merigan's (Shiva's assistant) class at Exhale. Few people, but very nice. Started a bit strange with a long breathing meditation in Shiva Lingam mudra, but it turned out very very fun, quite challenging with some cool moves: nice balancing sequence leading at the end to Garudasana, Vasistasana and Eka Pada Raja Kapotasana, and a few other things. Anyway, totally fixed my back, I felt nice and happy after that. Went to get a nice smoothie from the store next door and an organic avocado and tofu sandwich for dinner, which proved surprisingly tasty.
At this very moment, I feel the waves of sleeping slowly coming over me, and I know i won't be up long. I need to rest as I feel tomorrow ill be arm balancing, with, I suspect, and interesting flow including Eka Paka Utkatasana to Galavasana to Eka Pasa Utkatasana to dragonfly and a few other things. We shall see.
Love to Shiva, IH, Moomoo, Keke and all the other heart centers in my life.
Good night.
IY
Morning 1
Oh it's good, oh it's nice, oh it's filling and fulfilling to be with Shiva again. After a mid-night wake up resolved with one more pill of melatonin, i slept until 5.25AM today, and woke up excited and scared not to be up to scratch.
We came in for a beautiful beautiful chanting and movement meditation (I got totally stuck on Muladhara chakra - AGAIN... ARGH!!!!) and moved into a nice easy practice of dancing warriors 1, 2 and blossoming namaskar (down dog to pigeon to frog to pigeon and over again) to a new namaskar with a low horse riding holding the ankles - loved it) and some back bends. Believe it or not, I managed three beautiful wheels. Yummmmm, felt so good. I love how she started us in down dog for like 5 minutes and let us move with the flow, and everyone totally got into it. Amazing stuff, I was dancing in down dog, again, like the good old days...
Well, off the to beach now before the afternoon session. I better enjoy it cause the rest of the schedule is totally packed.
Shakti to you all
IY
We came in for a beautiful beautiful chanting and movement meditation (I got totally stuck on Muladhara chakra - AGAIN... ARGH!!!!) and moved into a nice easy practice of dancing warriors 1, 2 and blossoming namaskar (down dog to pigeon to frog to pigeon and over again) to a new namaskar with a low horse riding holding the ankles - loved it) and some back bends. Believe it or not, I managed three beautiful wheels. Yummmmm, felt so good. I love how she started us in down dog for like 5 minutes and let us move with the flow, and everyone totally got into it. Amazing stuff, I was dancing in down dog, again, like the good old days...
Well, off the to beach now before the afternoon session. I better enjoy it cause the rest of the schedule is totally packed.
Shakti to you all
IY
Day 1 -48 minutes
There we are. 5.42 AM, July 14th (Vive la France).
The summer immersion led by Shiva Rea, which led me to cross an ocean and spend a lot of money is starting soon. My back is still in pieces from the flight, I am tired by jet lag and have not had a strong practice in a week.
I am scared. But hopeful.
First report tonight on my back.
Wish me (a lot of) luck.
Imperfect Yogi
The summer immersion led by Shiva Rea, which led me to cross an ocean and spend a lot of money is starting soon. My back is still in pieces from the flight, I am tired by jet lag and have not had a strong practice in a week.
I am scared. But hopeful.
First report tonight on my back.
Wish me (a lot of) luck.
Imperfect Yogi
Friday, July 13, 2007
First pics from my home in Venice, CA
some views of Venice: the roof top of my building, the yoga studio entrance, Ocean Front Walk with my apartment building in the middle, the beach in front of the building.
Off to get some food now.
IY
Off to get some food now.
IY
Lalaland
24 hours in the city
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, yogis and yoginis, mamas and papas, hookers and pimps, Francky has landed in Hollywood. I arrived ahead of time yesterday at 4.50PM into LAX. Simple little thing that I am, I thought this would give me more time to get my luggage and rush to the little boys' tree before I met my friend at arrivals. Simple little thing I am...
I had not quite taken into account the master plan of the immigration services... After waiting roughly 20 minutes in line with a lot of Asians (flights from Seoul, KL and Singapore had just flown in) and a huge huge huge lot of Mexicans (it looked as if the population of western Mexico had just marched together as one man onto LAX at 5PM sharp), my turn came up to talk to the nice immigration officer. Now, I had had some issues in the past, so I had taken no chances this time: I had gotten myself a brand new passport with a brand new picture the week before, I had provided all my accommodation details, down to the room number to the airline, and I had even shaved, in order not to look too Latin/eastern/hairy/suspicious to the immigration officers. Well, that certainly did not suffice, as the officer checked my (empty and brand new) passport (which I had forgotten to sign until my turn was about to come up in the queue) over and over and over again, trying to match some stuff that came up on his screen. After clarifying that I had indeed lived in 4 different countries in the last 5 years and was not a yoga instructor who had just arrived in business class from Singapore on a French passport to attend a yoga retreat at a local spa, we realised there was a problem. He found one (I am not sure to this moment what the problem was), and I knew I had one (when he did not return my passport and asked me to take three steps back and wait for an other officer).
And there I go in an empty booth with the new officer, who looks nice but bigger, stronger, tougher and more armed than the first one. And there we go again... Where do I come from? (last city? where have I been in the last 3 weeks? last year? last 5 years?) What do I do? (my real job that I left or my dream job that does not look good on an immigration form?) What am I here for? What is a yoga retreat? Why do I practice yoga? Why do I come for a retreat here? Do I have proof of my attending the retreat? ...
Let's say it lasted long enough for the luggage of my flight to stop turning on the carousel, and for my bladder to be near the point of explosion. He then typed what seemed to be a long, long, very long, really very long sentence on his computer, and let me go. To be honest, I was dying to ask what had triggered this special attention to my little insignificant and imperfect person, but I thought I should not tempt the Universe, and just ran to my luggage and the bathroom, to empty my bladder, which had now reached the size of a small watermelon.
12 minutes of peeing later, I stepped out of the washroom to find my good old friend Nik waiting for me. We left for Studio City, had a quick dinner (Greek salad the size of a roof garden, 5.99, not bad but waste of food).
After 7 hours of sleep made possible by a double ration of Melatonin, I woke up - tired - and we started the day with a lovely breakfast at The Good Earth in Studio City (omelet tortilla the size of my living room, 7.99, not bad but a real waste of food - come on people, cut down on the portion sizes...).
Nik then drove me over to Venice Beach for a lovely walk in the sea, after which I checked into my hotel, which is A-MA-ZING!! I was upgraded to a kick-a$$ suite and there is a huge amazing roof top on the 4th floor, overlooking the beach. I am writing from there now, getting a nice sun burn on my caucasian's shoulders.
That's all for today, more stories tomorrow after the Teacher Intensive starts (6.30 AM, sharp).
Bye bye from Lalaland!
Imperfect Yogi
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, yogis and yoginis, mamas and papas, hookers and pimps, Francky has landed in Hollywood. I arrived ahead of time yesterday at 4.50PM into LAX. Simple little thing that I am, I thought this would give me more time to get my luggage and rush to the little boys' tree before I met my friend at arrivals. Simple little thing I am...
I had not quite taken into account the master plan of the immigration services... After waiting roughly 20 minutes in line with a lot of Asians (flights from Seoul, KL and Singapore had just flown in) and a huge huge huge lot of Mexicans (it looked as if the population of western Mexico had just marched together as one man onto LAX at 5PM sharp), my turn came up to talk to the nice immigration officer. Now, I had had some issues in the past, so I had taken no chances this time: I had gotten myself a brand new passport with a brand new picture the week before, I had provided all my accommodation details, down to the room number to the airline, and I had even shaved, in order not to look too Latin/eastern/hairy/suspicious to the immigration officers. Well, that certainly did not suffice, as the officer checked my (empty and brand new) passport (which I had forgotten to sign until my turn was about to come up in the queue) over and over and over again, trying to match some stuff that came up on his screen. After clarifying that I had indeed lived in 4 different countries in the last 5 years and was not a yoga instructor who had just arrived in business class from Singapore on a French passport to attend a yoga retreat at a local spa, we realised there was a problem. He found one (I am not sure to this moment what the problem was), and I knew I had one (when he did not return my passport and asked me to take three steps back and wait for an other officer).
And there I go in an empty booth with the new officer, who looks nice but bigger, stronger, tougher and more armed than the first one. And there we go again... Where do I come from? (last city? where have I been in the last 3 weeks? last year? last 5 years?) What do I do? (my real job that I left or my dream job that does not look good on an immigration form?) What am I here for? What is a yoga retreat? Why do I practice yoga? Why do I come for a retreat here? Do I have proof of my attending the retreat? ...
Let's say it lasted long enough for the luggage of my flight to stop turning on the carousel, and for my bladder to be near the point of explosion. He then typed what seemed to be a long, long, very long, really very long sentence on his computer, and let me go. To be honest, I was dying to ask what had triggered this special attention to my little insignificant and imperfect person, but I thought I should not tempt the Universe, and just ran to my luggage and the bathroom, to empty my bladder, which had now reached the size of a small watermelon.
12 minutes of peeing later, I stepped out of the washroom to find my good old friend Nik waiting for me. We left for Studio City, had a quick dinner (Greek salad the size of a roof garden, 5.99, not bad but waste of food).
After 7 hours of sleep made possible by a double ration of Melatonin, I woke up - tired - and we started the day with a lovely breakfast at The Good Earth in Studio City (omelet tortilla the size of my living room, 7.99, not bad but a real waste of food - come on people, cut down on the portion sizes...).
Nik then drove me over to Venice Beach for a lovely walk in the sea, after which I checked into my hotel, which is A-MA-ZING!! I was upgraded to a kick-a$$ suite and there is a huge amazing roof top on the 4th floor, overlooking the beach. I am writing from there now, getting a nice sun burn on my caucasian's shoulders.
That's all for today, more stories tomorrow after the Teacher Intensive starts (6.30 AM, sharp).
Bye bye from Lalaland!
Imperfect Yogi
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
At the airport
Singapore Changi Airport, Thursday July 12, 14.48.
In just about an hour, I will be (hopefully) flying high above the skies that lace the sky of the South China Sea, on my way to California, the sun, Shiva, vegan breakfast burritos, my ex and a bunch of excited yogis to attend a teacher intensive. I am thrilled, and at the same time, I hate to leave.
It's quite a curious game, which the mind plays with you, when you are about to exercise such an outstanding opportunity (flying half-way across the word to attend an amazing retreat with one's guru with a bunch of like-minded carefree whisperers), and still all you can think about is staying home, watching TV with your partner and playing around with your doggies. It's definitely a puzzling reaction that i have witnessed in me several times. I can't quite understand whether it's just laziness, ultimately, or the realization that in the end, your heart calls you back to the most simple components of your life.
Now the real question I have been struggling with lately, is whether one should heed its inner calling (stay home to enjoy the simple things), or if one should give oneself a good kick in the seat bones and get going. I am torn.
For a little while, I have been so happy with my life that I start getting scared of losing it all. More clearly, I am getting shit scared to die right now. As a result, I am displaying this defensive behavior, and am focusing almost exclusively on what I know is key, and on what makes me most happy in the short term: my imperfect parter, my imperfect doggies, and my imperfect little Life. But while it looks like a healthy conscious decision, I am also anxious that I might thereby be shielding myself from greater opportunities in Life. Let me explain. Not that I think I should abandon my Dearest, Moomoo and Keke to lead a totally different life at all. I just think I should stop being so scared of losing this part of my life that I am preventing myself from knowing anything else. It's a little bit like Arjuna's questionning in the Gita, when Sri Krishna tells him that Yoga IS action, and that Arjuna has no option but immersing himself in the World, no matter how tough, uncomfortable or dangerous this may be. Yoga is action, karma yoga, Life must be experienced fully to come to a state of Yoga.
As a result, the struggle in Life is to preserve the most precious elements within, and yet not compromise the necessity to take action in the World. What it means for me is that I must continue cherishing my Jewels, and yet take a fierce and courageous step in the world, to explore the range of opportunities it holds, and display the range of qualities I have.
Long long long unclear story cut short: good think I am on my way to LA to reconnect with my practice, the Universe, and the Flow within. And after all, it might be a good thing to pass the ever-so-important 30 years-old threshold alone and away from what I have put together in the last 29 years.
I will tell you how things go.
Imperfect Yogi
In just about an hour, I will be (hopefully) flying high above the skies that lace the sky of the South China Sea, on my way to California, the sun, Shiva, vegan breakfast burritos, my ex and a bunch of excited yogis to attend a teacher intensive. I am thrilled, and at the same time, I hate to leave.
It's quite a curious game, which the mind plays with you, when you are about to exercise such an outstanding opportunity (flying half-way across the word to attend an amazing retreat with one's guru with a bunch of like-minded carefree whisperers), and still all you can think about is staying home, watching TV with your partner and playing around with your doggies. It's definitely a puzzling reaction that i have witnessed in me several times. I can't quite understand whether it's just laziness, ultimately, or the realization that in the end, your heart calls you back to the most simple components of your life.
Now the real question I have been struggling with lately, is whether one should heed its inner calling (stay home to enjoy the simple things), or if one should give oneself a good kick in the seat bones and get going. I am torn.
For a little while, I have been so happy with my life that I start getting scared of losing it all. More clearly, I am getting shit scared to die right now. As a result, I am displaying this defensive behavior, and am focusing almost exclusively on what I know is key, and on what makes me most happy in the short term: my imperfect parter, my imperfect doggies, and my imperfect little Life. But while it looks like a healthy conscious decision, I am also anxious that I might thereby be shielding myself from greater opportunities in Life. Let me explain. Not that I think I should abandon my Dearest, Moomoo and Keke to lead a totally different life at all. I just think I should stop being so scared of losing this part of my life that I am preventing myself from knowing anything else. It's a little bit like Arjuna's questionning in the Gita, when Sri Krishna tells him that Yoga IS action, and that Arjuna has no option but immersing himself in the World, no matter how tough, uncomfortable or dangerous this may be. Yoga is action, karma yoga, Life must be experienced fully to come to a state of Yoga.
As a result, the struggle in Life is to preserve the most precious elements within, and yet not compromise the necessity to take action in the World. What it means for me is that I must continue cherishing my Jewels, and yet take a fierce and courageous step in the world, to explore the range of opportunities it holds, and display the range of qualities I have.
Long long long unclear story cut short: good think I am on my way to LA to reconnect with my practice, the Universe, and the Flow within. And after all, it might be a good thing to pass the ever-so-important 30 years-old threshold alone and away from what I have put together in the last 29 years.
I will tell you how things go.
Imperfect Yogi
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